Ok this is a LONG entry but PLEASE read ALL of it if you want to answer. Thanks. Im 26 btw.
So this girl I have been hanging out for several months told me she is PREGNANT!!! Im gonna be a DAD!!!.....I have had SOOO many emotions in the past 48 hours....but it gets REALLY complicated--for one I BARELY EVEN KNOW HER!!---ok so we ARE friends but I dont REALLY know her!! WE HAVENT EVEN DATED!!
Ok so I just graduated from an Ivy League law school about a year(focus: Corporate Law), and I am finishing up an intership in Chicago.....anyways....(I made about $36k last year).
I have a REALLY great future set up for me....I just accepted a position at a firm in New York that is going to pay me a STARTING salary of $120k!!! Anyways...I have worked my *** off all my life and I am so happy to see it finally pay off. I grew up in a very middle-class home (my dad was a construction worker and my mom was a chef at a small restaurant). They sacrificed A LOT to make sure my sister (who is doing her 3rd year of her medical residency) and I had a good education....they somehow managed to pay for both of our undergraduate educations (it WAS NOT cheap). Anyways they don't know about it yet....they wouldnt be too happy......they are VERY STRICT Baptist Christians. Anyways, I do have around a $200k loan (for law school) which i have to pay off.
Ok let me be honest---my situation SUCKS!! I dont have any intention of starting a serious relationship with her....I dont have to just because she's pregnant right??? Im NOT an ****hole though....I sat her down and told her that I would pay ANY child support I am told to....AND I told her that if she needs more due to some unforeseen circumstance....I am MORE THAN WILLING to pay her more. She's a waitress btw.
The thing is--she wants to MOVE TO NY WITH ME!! I DONT WANT HER TO!!! Im going to be working 80-100 hours/week and 6-7 days/week....its not like Im going to have any time to spend with her or my kid....and I wanna get married someday and have kids the proper way (after marriage).....I CANT BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING.....I really cant.....I know I sound like Im abandoning my kid BUT IM NOT....I can see him/her during summer vacations....they do arrangements like that I think. And if she came there it would only cause DRAMA considering she proabably get jealous and try to **** me over when I date other women....Im NOT saying she will.....but it would be a VERY AWKWARD situation which she could exploit....
I dont know what to do.......SHE SHOULD BE HAPPY!!!.....she is going to make a SHITLOAD of money over the next 18-20 years through child support.....(she makes about $25k/year as a waitress)....the lawyers' salary at the law firm I joined rises FAST.
3-5 years exp.--avg= $150k-180k
5-10 ' ' = $180k-$300k
10-20 ' ' = anywhere from $300k-$500k
20+ years = $500k-$1 million
Top Lawyers with over 25+ years = can make pretty much anything from $1.5-$3 million.
I talked to a child support attorney who said that I will have to end up paying her around about 25% of my salary AFTER TAXES!!!!!!---THAT MEANS SHE GETS FREE CASH IN HER HAND!!!! SHE IS GOING TO BE MAKING AROUND $20k-25k IN PURE CASH NEXT YEAR!!
And its only going to go up.....there may even be a time where her child support may hit 6 figures!! I can only imagine what she's going to use it for!! And now she wants to follow me around to make my life a living hell!! I do not get it......SHE WON!! WHY CANT SHE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!! SHE WON!!! In her mind she is thinking that she basically won the lottery!! I KNOW she is!!! She is going to be getting HUGE sums of money during the next 18-20 years......she should be happy and just respect the fact that I never want to see her again!! I SAID I WOULD PAY!!! IM NOT EVEN GONNA FIGHT OVER IT EITHER!! I TOLD HER I WOULD PAY!! WHY WONT SHE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!! She makes ME look like a father who abandon's his kid!! WELL IM NOT!! I said i would see him/her in summer!! She'll be fine raising him during the year after all the money she's gonna be sucking outta me!!!
OMG WHATS WRONG WITH ME!!!.....That just flowed out.......I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!! HELP!!|||You say you've only known for 48 hours, but you posted this exact same question a few weeks/months ago under another name.
Clearly there is something untruthful about this. I think you either love getting a rise out of people or you are an amateur writer doing research for a story.
Please give this a rest. I honestly don't believe a word of it.
EDIT: I just noticed that you posted another question in which you say you're 13 years old. That figures.|||http://divpat.org/ThePriceOfSexOutsideMa鈥?/a>
http://dads-house.org/EducationalManual|||Fascinating. Now have a safe journey back to troll land.|||I don't believe a word of this|||man up, and DON'T ABANDON YOUR KID!|||Ok, try calm down just a little bit.
Before you get too worked up, remember that there could be a chance that the baby is not yours. I would not recommend having a paternity test done until after the baby is born though. It could be fatel to both mother and child.
What I would do is try to talk with her some more. Let her know that you understand the situation she/you are in. Maybe consider allowing time for you guys to date and get to know one another first. If you end up having a good experience then things may work out for the two of you. If not then it will at least be a live and learn situation.
Try to remain positive through out. Assit in getting her the help she needs as far as eating healthy, vitamins, and regular doctor visits. You may not have now, and you may not develope feelings for her but try to be sensitive to that fact that women become very emotional while they are pregnant.
This may or may not be helpful....but I hope it is. Also, if you are feelign anger.... try to control it and be rational.
I understand your idea of wanting to have the ideal marriage before birth, but if the child is yours then it will just have to be something that you will have to accept. But I would at least give it a try. After a trial dating period, she may find that you really are not her type and she will part peacefully with just accepting child support and visitation. Or it may just work out.
You may want to add that you are not ready to settle down but you are willing to give it a try when you do talk to her. It will help ease her mind and yours knowing that you are not setting yourselves up to fail, but allowing a good chance to see one way or another.|||All this child seems to meant o you is money you'll be losing. It's a good thing you don't want to get involved; it would never work out between you. You aren't mature enough to shoulder any responsibility and think money will fix everything. Well, it doesn't. And what do you mean 'she's won'? How is getting pregnant with some guy you barely know, who will then abandon you to take care of the child for the next 18years of its life, winning in any way, shape or form? Yes, you said you'll pay for upkeep, which helps, but it's not all money. This girl's life will be changed forever; she won't be able to have the same life she used to have, not for a while at least.
The pregnancy will be difficult, emotional and painful, the birth even more so, followed by a year or more of sleepless nights, paired up with the various physical pains associated with being a mother. Also, no social life, not if she really wants to look after the child. And all you will have to do is give her some money and see the kid when it suits you. You really think your money will make up for all that? You really think that 'she'll be fine raising him during the year' just because of the money? Money can't give you back your time. Money can't give you back your health. Think on that before you go complaining about how bad you've got it. You don't have to go through the pregnancy and you're not man enough to face it. Think you've got it bad, paying for your kid? Grow up.|||hmm. ya it does suck. next time wear a condom or dont have sex if ur not ready for a kid. but look at it this way.. how are u SURE this kids urs? i know chicks who get knocked up, the man doesnt stick around but they want a baby daddy, so they hook up with someone else and BAM! they tell the new guy that shes pregnant with his baby. u dont know if this kids urs, so befor u do anything, get a dna test to prove it when the kids born.|||you're an ****. You'll make a perfect lawyer.
I feel sad for any woman stupid enough to sleep with you. I also am glad you will not be in that kid's life because kids need fathers not lame arsewipes such as yourself.|||First calm down before you make an *ss out of yourself. Second if your relationship is anything but a monogamous comited relationship politely request a paternaty test after the baby is born. If it is yours you are legally responsible for it. If you are going to do anything but try to be the very best father you can be, there every step of the way for the child then just pay support and be on with your life. The child will be far better off emotionally and mentally if you are never there at all than if you come and go as it is convenient for you. I know because I have a son who's father is full of empty promises. He has spent the last 7 years in therapy. Next time use a condom or keep it in your pants. And no don't get involved if you don't love her no matter what your parents religion says you will hurt the child that way watching it's parents not love eachother.|||listen dear you seem to be a catch and have you life on a great track are you sure she is even pregnant? and if so is it even yours? you are not an asshole at least you are not totally writing off your responsibility. dont let anyone drag you down you can handle this rationally ! good luck|||I was that long reading your novel, I've forgotten your name..
This is your bloody fault, your obviously highly intelligent and yet you've make a life altering decision for 10 minutes of enjoyment (if that long).
Yes she will have the life of Reilly on your income, and no there's feck all you can do about it.
If you were my Son I'd be devastated for you and my grandchild that I'd probably never see, If she was my Daughter I'd like to hit you with something extremely heavy....
Make sure to get a dna test, and pray...|||i agree with alexis she said it all your an ***whole you shouldnt have slept with her now step up and take responsibility for your actions|||Totally agree with Alexis Your a total bastard. My fiance and I got pregnant on accident. I know what that girl is probably going through. And you should NEVER have sex with someone you dont love, and aren't prepared for the unforeseen. Sex changes a relationship as you and i have found out. Your not fit to be a father if money is all your thinking of. Pay the damn child support and grow up!|||I'm not here to judge you. Considering that you just found out you are going to be a father, what you are feeling is normal. That being said....its not all about the money. Women who are pregnant want to feel safe, loved, and security. Throwing a check at her won't give her that. She may want to move in with you because she loves you (or thinks she does). If you think she is a gold-digging drama queen WHY DID YOU HOOK UP WITH HER IN THE FIRST PLACE? If she is a decent girl, she won't make your life hell. When I got pregnant, I had only known the father for 2 months. We weren't even dating either. He decided to let me move in and you know what....we are in love and have been together for over 5 years. In our case it worked out because we both wanted to do what was best for the child. Screw what your parents think. You brought this kid into the world, you can't go on with your life like nothing happened. You can't throw money at it and pretend like it will replace an actual father. It wont. BE A MAN for god's sake. I don't think you are a bad person but you need to picture your own flesh and blood child growing up without a father figure. Think about your dad. Was he there to guide you? Did you feel his love growing up? How did that influence your life? Now picture your child growing up without you. Even if you decide to take him during parts of the year....he or she will still grow up knowing that you were too busy living your life to be inconvenienced by being their dad. You don't have to be with this girl if you don't want but I think you should give it a chance. Don't throw this away because of money.
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